Holiday Stress: When “Joyful” Seasons Bring Anxiety
Let’s be honest: the holidays don’t feel joyful for everyone.
While this time of year is often described as magical and heartwarming, for many people it brings a whole lot of stress, anxiety, and emotional overload. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Why am I so overwhelmed when everyone else seems fine?” — you’re definitely not alone.
And no, it doesn’t mean you’re doing the holidays wrong.
Why the Holidays Can Feel So Stressful
The holidays tend to pile a lot on us all at once.
There are expectations to show up, be happy, spend money, attend gatherings, reconnect with family, and somehow still keep up with everyday life. That’s a lot — especially if you’re already managing anxiety, depression, or just feeling worn down.
Some common holiday stressors include:
Family dynamics that bring up old patterns or uncomfortable emotions
Financial pressure around gifts, travel, and events
Packed schedules with very little downtime
Changes in routine, sleep, and eating
Grief, loneliness, or missing people or traditions
When structure goes out the window, anxiety often steps right in.
“Everyone Else Seems Happy… Why Don’t I?”
This is one of the most common thoughts I hear this time of year.
Social media and holiday messaging make it look like everyone else is having cozy, meaningful, picture-perfect moments. What we don’t see are the arguments, the stress, the tears, or the people quietly getting through the season.
If the holidays bring up anxiety or sadness for you, it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or negative. It usually means this season hits on something tender — and that’s completely human.
A Few Ways to Make the Season Feel More Manageable
Instead of trying to force yourself to feel joyful, focus on doing what helps you feel a little more steady.
A few gentle reminders:
Lower the expectations. Everything does not need to be perfect to be meaningful.
Say no when you need to. You’re allowed to protect your time and energy.
Keep some routine. Regular meals, sleep, and movement help more than we realize.
Take breaks. Stepping away is not rude — it’s self-preservation.
Notice the comparison trap. What you see online is never the full picture.
Name what’s coming up. Even saying “this is hard” can take the edge off anxiety.
Small moments of calm count — a quiet drive, a warm drink, a few deep breaths, a walk around the block.
If the Holidays Feel Especially Heavy
If anxiety feels constant or overwhelming, or if you’re just finding this season harder than usual, getting support can make a real difference. Therapy can be a space to talk openly, learn tools to manage anxiety, and feel less alone in it.
You don’t have to love the holidays.
You don’t have to feel grateful all the time.
And you definitely don’t have to hold it all together.
Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do for yourself is to slow down, be honest about how you’re feeling, and give your mental health a little extra care this season.
